29 year old graduate

This week, I graduate! Four years of university and six years of study behind me - my whole career ahead of me. I'm not certain how I feel right now nervous, excited, nostalgic but I have to say it's all rather unnerving. 

I know I'm 29 (much older than most graduates) and should be ready for full time work and in most ways I am. I'm ready for routine, a stimulating, exciting career and I'm definitely ready for a full time wage - but the idea of life post uni is daunting. Going from student to employee is a big life change, there's a whole lot of responsibility on my shoulders and university life hasn't really prepared me for this. Note to professors - prepare students for adult life, maybe adulting could become a new module? 

I worked hard for my degree and will be graduating with a 2:1. This is something I'm proud of but on the other hand I' am somewhat disappointed I'm not finishing with a 1st. I know that its ridiculous to feel a little disheartened as when I think about it an upper 2nd class degree is pretty bloody great. Why do we always put so much pressure on ourselves? Why do we constantly compare ourselves to others? Why does others successes impact our own? These have been some of the questions that have been swirling round my head over the last few weeks.

The last 6 months of my life have been tough probably the toughest of my entire life and I'm happy I managed to graduate at all. 

My beautiful mother died of Cancer in January and my world fell apart. In that time my degree felt pointless and small, how could a degree mean anything anymore if my Mum was no longer in my life. Somehow I managed to carry on, this was mainly done for my Mum, she was very proud of my study and letting her down was something I could never do. My future life also needed my degree. Yes, rent, food and bills don't come for free. 

By my last assignment I really had lost enthusiasm and this is what ultimately let my grade down. Writing a 6000 word project, whilst searching for a job is not an easy task.

On my last day in university I felt incredibly sad and nostalgic. I really have loved my time at university and I will remember it fondly. University has changed me, mostly for the best. I've learnt a lot about who I am and what I want from life and most of all how much I love to study, research and write. I love it mainly for turning my dream (yes, it's a little cringe but the thesaurus offered no alternative) into a reality. I'm sure I've got a long way to go in my career but I think I'm ready for the journey, ups and downs and all.

Something that always made me doubt returning to study was the thought of leaving university without a job. I knew I would be nearly thirty years of age and needed to start my career ASAP! This thought has constantly driven me throughout the last few years and I'm happy to know I am graduating with a job I wanted and love. I understand it's not always that easy; the job market is competitive and gaining industry experience is what possibly sealed my current role. 

My advice to anyone who is thinking about going to university or returning to study - without a doubt you have to go for it, no matter what age or stage of your life you are at you should seek the career or job you love. I know there's barriers that can get in the way, family commitments or money but we spend the majority of our adult lives at work and if you're not enjoying what you're doing, it makes those Sunday night blues even worse. Plus this year I've learnt that life's too short to not make yourself happy.

Ph Credit - The Red List 

Four years later

This month marks 4 years of writing this blog and over the years, I've questioned many times why I'm writing it. Do people enjoy reading it? Are my topics relevant? Is it original? The latter being the most prominent.

At times I thought maybe I shouldn't bother anymore, but something (plus my very supportive boyfriend) has kept me writing.

There's so many blogs out there and its tough finding your niche. My aim has always been to try and create something a little different.

Over the years I’ve pondered the idea of trying to make money out of my blog with advertisements and promotion of products. I have been approached by a selection of brands, many I didn't care for so I opted out and to be honest I'm glad I did, there's nothing more irritating than getting half way through someone's post only to realise it's completely biased towards the company that is giving them free stuff. I didn't start a blog purely for it to be used as a tool to hawk other people’s crap - each to their own but to me, that cheapens content and falsifies opinion. Promoting freebies probably gets you more blog traffic and that's fine as long as products are being promoted with an honest opinion and readers know they are reading sponsored content.

Originally my blog was a place to document my ramblings about fashion. But more recently It's become a place to write about issues and topics that inspire me, whether that be about fashion, style, pop culture or something more serious.

In life we constantly compare ourselves to others mainly through life achievements and ownership but online there is so much more to compare your work to. Is my writing Honest? Interesting? Or is it a carbon copy of what someone else has written?

With so many other blogs out there i guess it's only natural to compare. I don't get the views and comments I'd like but I try and write about something different and maybe in the near future my ratings may improve. But to be truthful I've never wanted to become that typical blogger mainly because I don't fit to that stereotype. I'm a little older (29 to be exact) and I don't have the typical blogger look. I don't have a fortune to spend on luxurious holidays, I'm not super slim or have pristine make up and most of the time I look less than perfect but I've always wanted my blog to reflect reality. I'm a student, I can't afford to purchase new, on-trend clothes every week to discuss but I do continually think about what's new, interesting and inspiring to my readers.

I love to write and that's what will hopefully support this blog to make it to its fifth year. I'm not going to say everything I write interests everyone because it doesn't. The beauty of individuality is that we all have different opinions and interests. If just one post inspires you in a small way, then I feel I've done what I set out to do. 

Ph Credit Still, That Kind of Women on Bloglovin via Pinterest, edited using A Beautiful Mess app